Spider-Man: No Way Home, a tricksy, time-ticklish teen-romance

Trailer of the Week: Because when Peter Parker picks a pickle of past-tense problems, we tune in.

What is it?

The Official Teaser Trailer for the third Spider-Man movie to feature Londoner and BRIT School graduate Tom Holland in the role, who himself is the third Spider-Man of the 21st century, following Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield. At the time of writing it sits at 18,354,488 YouTube views after only seven hours online. But when the trailer leaked two days previously, the internet collapsed with lots of buildings, like, folding in on themselves and stuff.

What are you talking about?

This film, due out in December, introduces the multiverse to the world of Spidey. Web-sleuths (lol) are convinced that that means that those other actors’ Spider-Mans – Spider-Men? – will now reappear in the film, simultaneously with Holland’s Spidey, alongside various villains from the web-slinging superhero’s (superheroes’?) past. Which also means that all the fans’ Christmases will come at once… and buildings will fold in on themselves, plot holes can be explained away, and producers Marvel/​Sony can throw everything including the kitchen sink (made of vibranium) at the plot.

Why do fans think that?

Because this trailer also heavily features Benedict Cumberbatchs Dr. Strange. It opens with Peter Parker and new girlfriend MJ (Zendaya, woo) kicking back on a Manhattan roof-top, hiding from the fact that, as of the end of 2019’s billion-dollar-grossing Spider-Man: Far From Home, the world now knows that he’s Spider-Man. AWKWARD! Going to school, getting an Uber and doing shots in Williamsburg dive bars are now v. problematic for the couple. So Parker visits old pal Dr. Strange, Marvel’s maestro of the multiverse, to see if he can do, as Spider-Man described it in Avengers: Endgame, the yellow sparkly thing”: cast a spell that turns back time and fixes everything.

And does he?

What do you think? Yes, he casts a spell. No, it doesn’t fix everything. On the contrary…

Shit, does Zendaya dump him because the rumour that Dune 2 is all about her IS TRUE?

Um, that’s possibly a multiverse too far. But let’s go with YES.

What’s the music like?

Slamming electronic drum beats. Synthesised brass blasts to curl your hair. Evil cellos. Loads of ominous stuff, basically.

Any laughs?

Will a sight gag do? The frightfully urbane Dr. Strange – who lives in a mansion so cold it needs defrosting – drinks from a mug that says Oh for [picture of fox] sake”. Jokes!

Anything else?

By the time I’d finished writing this, the trailer was nudging 20 million YT views.

When’s it out?

Not soon enough, clearly. But we’ll have to wait til 17th December 2021. Unless Cumbo” can do the yellow sparkly thing for reals?

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