Goldie: ​“I think I’m fucking hilarious”

Taken from the new print issue of THE FACE. Get your copy here.

Hi, Goldie! How’s it going?

Who’s disturbing my pizza evening? I’ve got backgammon and pizza going on over here. Right, go ahead, man.

Alright, alright. What’s your favourite pizza topping?

Pepperoni, anchovies, basil, mushrooms. Can’t beat it. My pizza game is tough.

In an interview you did with THE FACE nearly three years ago, you mentioned there was a big lizard chasing birds across your roof. How’s he getting on?

Oh, shit! The lizard got even bigger. He lives inthe jungle now.

You set him free?

Yeah. You appreciate the natural order of things when you live here.

You’re not just a musician. You’re also an artist, fashion icon, hot yoga aficionado, reality TV star, actor… Is there anything you can’t do?

No. Well, I’m doing a six-part series called Sine Tempore, which is basically the cinematic version of [his 1995 album] Timeless. This is the one thing that’s eluded me. I wrote it with Clint Dyer, who now runs the National Theatre. I think because in serious TV drama, we’ve been given one narrative when it comes to the urban community, and I’ve always felt there was more to it. I’ve lived in the ​’70s and ​’80s, on an estate, seeing how it’s changed. I think it’s important to show the early stuff, like Steve McQueen does, which I respect. Then you’ve got your later things like Top Boy. But how did we get here? That’s the only thing I wanna do: get it to a broadcaster that understands the complexity. That’s difficult in this day and age.

What’s your favourite Nia Archives song?

So Tell Me… It’s a great tune. The thing I love about that young woman? She’s got a rite of passage. She’s one of ours. There’s a lot of stuff that’s happened with [jungle and drum ​’n’ bass] music, good and bad, in terms of how it’s looked at and perceived.

Thirty years we’ve been doing this shit! [And] she’s attracting a whole new generation. She’s from up north and doesn’t give a flying fuck. I came from Wolverhampton and I didn’t give a fuck about what anyone thought in London. Fuck off.

What do you keep under your bed?

A fucking machete. I’ve chopped the head off a few fucking snakes here.

What’s your phone wallpaper?

It’s the missus and the baba. Those two gems.

What’s the last thing you laughed so hard at that you almost cried?

Googly eyes, look here! [He pops a huge pair of plastic eyes on his.] We were tripping out on mushrooms with googly eyes.

What’s the stupidest most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?

A Ferrari F1 – I bought it for the sake of buying it. Daft.

Have you still got it?

No, I blew the engine. Then I bought another one.

Are you good at keeping secrets?

No, I’m shit. I tell everyone everything. Birthday and Christmas presents – people usually end up getting those before the right date because I can’t keep it in.

Have you ever stolen anything?

Fucking loads. I stole the hearts of urban communities all over the world. I come from a generation where you can steal a left trainer and come back for the right one a week later. You can’t do that anymore.

In your autobiography, All Things Remembered, you wrote about your friendship with David Bowie. Is there anything about him you left out of the book?

Loads, but that’s not for public consumption. I have the utmost respect for that man. He was a lifer who knew the true power of reinvention. He taught me the art of not giving a fuck.

Next year I’m finally gonna do the show I always wanted to do: an icon show filled with all these Bowie portraits by Kevin Cummins, who is to me one of the best photographers of Bowie.

Do you think you’re funny?

I think I’m fucking hilarious. Laughter is the key to everything.

Can you leave us with some words to live by?

A truthful idea will last in the honesty of time.