Last month, Kim Kardashian set the internet ablaze (again) by arriving at the Met Gala in the famous gown worn by Marilyn Monroe when she sang Happy Birthday to President Kennedy in 1962, which boasts 6,000 hand-sewn crystals.
But now, an official collector of Monroe memorabilia has come out with the news that the dress was “permanently damaged” by Kim’s Met steps ascent, alleging that she had stretched the fabric and that crystals were missing from the back of the dress. Fashion historians raged, angels wept and “fashion killer” got a brand new meaning. Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!, the organisation that Kim borrowed the dress from, has since disputed claims that she damaged the gown, stating that it was returned in the condition it was lent out in.
The jury’s out. But in the spirit of Kardashians ruining historical artefacts, here are all the ‘fits we’d let Kim K step into in the hope that she’d deliver them back to Ripley’s in less-than-perfect condition.
The raw meat dress
How could Kim destroy this infamous Argentinian beef gown, shoes and hat, originally donned by Lady Gaga? Possibly by standing too close to an open flame, or simply stepping outside her mansion in the Calabasas heat. Would a medium rare steak dress be better than a raw meat dress?
RiRi’s omelette dress
This one’s controversial. The dress itself is obviously a thing of beauty; an exquisite yellow cape weighing 25kg, with a 16ft train, apparently taking over 50,000 hour’s worth of hand embroidery and two years to make. But there’s no getting away from the fact that it looks a lot like an omelette. To which, we say: Kim, crack on.
AOC’s Tax The Rich dress
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s class war garms provoked outrage when she turned up to the Met in a bridal number stamped with blood-red letters. Do we agree with the message? Sure. But a congressional representative turning up to a $35,000-a-head ticket event maybe wasn’t the “yas kween” moment she thought it would be. Kim can do whatever she likes with this one.
Melania Trump’s Zara jacket
OK, not a dress, but still: an inexplicable fashion choice for a migrant child detention centre visit. The $39 army green Zara jacket, stamped with the words “I really don’t care, do you?” was apparently a message “for the left-wing media who are criticising me”. It’s probably for the best that Kim gets her hands on this one.
The dress that launched a million tweets. Is it blue and black, or white and gold? It makes us feel weird. Burn it… right now.