About to go full “in the bleak midwinter”, aren’t we? The whole “end of democracy” and “right wing ideologue” stuff going on in politics, coupled with the proper, undeniable end of summer which was confirmed with the arrival of Hurricane Lorenzo (Lorenzo… he doesn’t text back… fuckboy hurricane if ever there was one) and torrential rain so bad, some of the country got submerged and the other half just stopped… working.
So no wonder everyone is trying to lock down, something anything in the foreseeable future that will just about keep their fragile little will to live from flickering out altogether during these dark winter months. Maybe it’s a bae (cuffing season). Maybe it’s an overambitious project that many (many, many, many) have attempted before and failed to succeed at. Or perhaps it’s simply bagging tickets to Glastonbury 2020, which happens to be the 50th birthday of your favourite festival.
The endless Google Sheets, perusing about 20 different Evening Standard articles with SEO like “Glastonbury 2020: how to get tickets before general sale” (spoiler: you can’t! But now they have your clicks) and the group chat in which everyone gets increasingly more testy as the time approaches. Really putting those mid-level management organisational skills to good use!
In fact, the lengths people will go to get in have become truly magnificent. Including those willing to engage a “professional queuer” for £50 to wait in digital line for tickets in their place. Do we need it that badly? Are we that miserable? Yes. It would seem we are. And sure, ticket prices have increased but isn’t it worth it to see Chris Martin somehow crash every single headliner’s performance, while wearing head-to-toe Desigual?
Given the state of things, it probably is. Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful time at the festival which is eight months away and definitely won’t be marred by either a) the UK becoming an authoritarian right wing state by December or b) you falling out with the gang of mates you’re supposed to be going with and having to sadly enter the resale queue in just a few short months and sell your glittery jumpsuit on Depop. Big Mood.