A sexy Valentine’s gift guide to help you avoid getting dumped
Lurrrrv is in the air... and you’d better buy your other half a decent pressie in time for Monday. Lucky for you, we’re on hand.
If you’re single, stop reading. Valentine’s Day is just a marketing ploy to have you second-guess your tragic Hinge profile, while twiddling your thumbs hoping for a last-minute date. Or even just a reply.
But if you’re one of the lucky ones, keep reading. Now’s the time to start thinking about how you’re going to earn yourself a shag next Monday. Lucky for you, we’ve meticulously curated your go-to Valentine’s gift guide for all things sexy. There’s heart-shaped bags, heart-printed hats, lots of pink stuff, soft porn, leather, lace and a handy massager… for uses you can keep to yourself.
Happy Valentine’s, you filthy animals.
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Ashley Williams heart bag
Sex Objects available at climaxbooks.com
Palace hat
Nancy Shit T‑shirt
PULSEROLL, Black & Red Percussion Massage Gun
Ashley Williams “Handbag” T‑shirt
Skims thong
Ashley Williams Only Fans hairclips
Prada leather jacket
More Joy Red “Special” Catchall Tray
Durex Extra Safe condoms
Gucci silk corset with crystals
Chris Isaak’s Wicked Game record
Miu Miu slip
Cosey Fanni Tutti’s A Study In Scarlet VHS available at climaxbooks.com
Oakley sunglasses
GUT magazine
Martine Rose SEX belt
Vivienne Westwood dress
Loewe SS22 heels
Saint Laurent body
Loewe eau du parfum
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