We Both Laughed in Pleasure: the exhibition celebrating trans joy

When photographer and filmmaker Grace Pickering was introduced to the work of trans activist Lou Sullivan, it completely changed their life.

Born in 1951, Sullivan is thought of as the world’s first documented gay trans man – though, of course, trans people have likely been around for far, far longer. His collated diaries from 1961 – 1991, We Both Laughed in Pleasure, are a pioneering piece of queer literature, or ​“a radical testament to trans happiness,” as The New Yorker once put it.

​“Before learning about Lou, I didn’t really understand my identity,” Grace says over breakfast at the art’otel in Hoxton, East London. ​“He opened my mind up to the fact that so many of my own thoughts were related to my transness – that you could be a dyke fag, I think is the term. He put everything into perspective for me.”

It makes sense, then, for Grace to have named their first solo exhibition after Lou’s seminal work. We Both Laughed in Pleasure, which opened last week at the art’otel, is based around a short film Grace shot of their friends and peers, in a bid to shed light on a lesser known facet of the trans experience: transmasculinity and, crucially, transmasc people whose lives are full – of joy, friendship, professional and romantic success.

“I wanted to show the nuanced lives that people have,” Grace continues. ​“Whenever I see transmasc people represented, it’s in quite a stereotypically male way, which I know sounds quite funny. But I think being transmasc is its own thing – me and my friends identify as gay men, even though out in the world I will more than likely be treated as a woman. It’s a different culture.”

Alongside the film, which was produced by Greatcoat Films and commissioned by art’otel, Grace will exhibit a series of images inspired by historical trans and nonbinary figures, such as Joan of Arc, who has often been thought of as gender non-conforming; Schuyler Bailar, the legendary openly trans swimmer; and Gladys Bentley, a Harlem musician who would regularly get thrown into jail for the way they dressed in the 1930s.

​“Gladys would play at jazz clubs and was infamous in that area,” Grace says. ​“The police would routinely raid the place and arrest them. Gladys would spend the night in a cell and come right back the next day, in their three-piece suit and top hat. And yet they’ve been historically written about as a butch lesbian, despite living as a man. I was interested in showing that.”

Throughout the exhibition space, Grace has set up QR codes that you can scan to learn more about each historical figure depicted in their photographs, which will in turn direct you to related articles. ​“I didn’t learn about this stuff at school,” they say. ​“I wanted to create a free, accessible space where anyone can learn about our history.”

Born and raised in Manchester, Grace spent much of their twenties in Los Angeles and are now based in London. ​“Growing up queer and trans, I found a lot of escapism in television and films. So moving to LA was such a dream – it felt like being in a movie. Then photographing people allowed for a quicker form of connection, being quite shy.”

During an internship at Capitol Records in LA, Grace got into photographing musicians. They were soon shooting artwork for the likes of Sam Smith, Dua Lipa and Calvin Harris, while also carving out their reputation as filmmaker – a skill they picked up instinctively by watching directors they worked under, analysing subtle movements and habits behind the camera. All of which has come in handy for their next project: Soft Lad, a documentary that’s currently in development with Greatcoat Films, for which We Laughed in Pleasure is a primer.

“What inspired Soft Lad was a certain lack of understanding, I think,” Grace says. ​“When I think of the trans community, everyone is smiling, everyone’s nice to each other, there’s lots of love there – whether that’s bodybuilders in India, Spirit People in Canada who are Native American, a trans friend of mine who lives in Malta and whose parents are totally accepting, all of who are in the film.

​“Don’t get me wrong, I love watching trans characters and I think there’s room for all of it. But what I often see are teenagers who are very young and confused, they’re binding in their bedroom, and it’s terribly tragic. That was not my experience – I started transitioning around three years ago at 29, with my own money, and it brought me out of my shell. It can be a lonely, difficult experience, but there is so much beauty and freedom in it, too.”

That’s what We Laughed in Pleasure and, ultimately, Soft Lad are all about: turning the lens away from what we’ve already seen and onto people with brilliant, interesting and honest lives.

We Laughed in Pleasure is showing at the art’otel in Hoxton until 26^th August, before travelling to Berlin, Amsterdam, Cologne and Brussels. Soft Lad doesn’t have a release date yet, but keep your eyes peeled.