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There’s nothing more infuriating than two words merged together to make one. Spork, skort, Brexit, froyo, athleisure – all disgusting. Now, we’ve got jorts, the apparent summer big-hitter for leg bearers over the sunny months. The whole concept is nothing new: they are really just denim shorts, or jean shorts, or jorts. But unlike bum-skimming cutoffs, jorts take the jean short to longer lengths, reaching at or over the knees and raising a toast to suburban dads washing their cars across the Home Counties.
It comes at a good time, with it being summer. But the trend is even better because it provides an alternative to the particularly heinous sight of rolled up denim shorts on blokes, which makes them look like a Brooklyn hipster with a slogan tote bag flailing around the wind in one hand, and a soy-oat-vegan-caffeine-free-fat-free-fun-free iced latte in the other. Jorts offer a welcome solution to the denim aficionado unable to part with their heavy blue best friend over the sweaty season, lengthening the fabric and becoming an ironic salute to the very ordinary styles of uniforms, like the three quarter-lengths worn by postmen, bus drivers and, er, K‑Fed.
Take notes from Martine Rose, who has continually referenced everyday styles in her past collections, such as banker suits, dad jeans and football tops. The purveyor of subversion and mother bear of the underground, the great British designer’s most recent SS23 collection featured proper jorts worn with a matching denim jacket, frayed at the bottom and styled with a baseball cap pulled well over the eyes.
Here, Rose’s take on jorts is oddly, strangely pulsating, its wearer exuding some sort of sexy janitor fantasy with a set of keys dangling from the belt loop. You too can join in on the salacious fun.
Gucci also featured jorts in its most-recent resort collection. They were shorter than Rose’s take, but still came with ample volume. And herein lies the trick to nailing jorts: binning off fabric that hugs the skin. Go loose, go wide, go long. And cut up your own pair if you give the slightest toss about saving the planet, alright?
TJ Sidhu, Junior Editor
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What’s so bad about jorts, we hear you ask? Well, we’re talking about the term’s 2022 iteration here, which has nothing to do with red-hot, bum cheek grazing denim numbers, the likes of which you might have seen Kate Moss sauntering around in at Glasto back in the day.
Instead, the jorts trend du jour involves jean shorts of the elongated variety, which cut off at the knee to unceremoniously reveal the wearer’s calves – a chafing nightmare on a sweaty summertime afternoon. That’s the thing about jorts: they aren’t particularly flattering, unless you’re built like Bella Hadid or Dua Lipa, that is. All us normies would be left to contend with an impossible footwear decision (seriously, what shoes can you match with jorts?)
Impracticality aside, there’s something simultaneously dad-like yet juvenile about jorts. You could just as easily imagine your uncle overseeing a BBQ in his favourite pair as you could a sweet three-year-old running around in the park, tiny jorts blowing in the wind. In this case, a middle ground feels hard to conjure up.
Finally, even the word “jorts” feels particularly offensive, like a spiritual sibling to the infamous “cheugy”. There’s only one worthy Jorts in my book, and that’s the ginger cat who went viral on Reddit last year after an employee was accused of “perpetuating ethnic stereotypes” against him. Long story jort: stick with those Daisy Dukes, people.
Jade Wicks, Staff Writer
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It’s a yes from us. Embrace the dad – you already have with high-waisted straight-leg jeans, ugly trainers, tucked-in shirts and caps, so why stop now?