What is it?
The final trailer for the 26th film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Eternals are a race of superheroes who’ve been living amongst us puny humans for 7,000 years, secretly protecting us from Deviants. They appear to be scaly, robot-dragon‑y things – but obviously much, much worse. And now, because of something called “the emergence”, Armageddon-level trouble is afoot.
Not again! Do we care?
Yes, we do – and so do lots of other puny humans. The trailer was knocking on 6.5 million YouTube views within hours of premiering, which suggests fans have been waiting for this film for something like 7,000 years. Or, at least, the year since its original release date.
Who’s in it?
No Hollywood hunks called Chris. Rather, some great British telly folk! Gemma Chan (Channel 4’s Humans) is Sersi, Richard Madden (Game of Thrones, Bodyguard) is Ikaris and Kit Harington (also GoT) is Sersi’s proletarian boyf, Dane. Plus there’s Bryan Tyree Henry from Atlanta, Salma Hayek, Angelina Jolie, Barry Keoghan and Kumail Nanjiani. They all have different powers: Keoghan can manipulate minds, Jolie makes weapons from cosmic energy and Madden speaks in a Scottish accent.
So it’s yet another interplanetary Good Guys vs Really Bad Guys film?
Kinda. But this one feels very relatable. Well, a bit. “We’ve loved these people since the day we arrived. When you love something, you protect it,” says Jolie’s Thena, as a red London double-decker bus somersaults through Camden Town, threatening to mash Dane. Plus, Henry’s Phastos is the first openly gay character in the MCU. It only took 7,000 years!
And who are we crediting for this sci-fact vision of diversity and inclusivity?
The action takes place after the events of Avengers: Endgame. So how to explain the absence of the ass-kicking Eternals from that and previous superhero dust-ups? Plot hole!
They got that covered. “Why didn’t you guys help fight Thanos?” asks Dane of his millennia-old boo. No, not because “our contracts weren’t signed yet” (thanks, YT commenter “Bhojan Svarg”). Because “we were instructed not to interfere,” answers Sersi. “By who?” frowns Dane. No, not “«shows Kevin Feige’s face»” (thanks, YT commenter “The Revival”).
What’s the music like?
Epic. Sweeping. A keening, wordless choirgirl. No ironic pop songs. Dang.
Not to be confused with…
…how Game of Thrones should have ended, despite the presence of dragon-things, Madden (Robb Stark), Harrington (Jon Snow), a badass queen-type called Sersi and that soundtrack, which comes courtesy of Ramin Djawadi, the German composer who also scored Thrones. Wish that show had ended like this, though.
Oh yes. “I bet you’ve built the perfect safe-house,” says Ikaris, Scottishly, to the incognito Phastos. “What’s this even made of, vibranium?” he says, thumping a table, which promptly smashes into pieces. “Fall collection. Ikea,” deadpdans Phastos. Jokes!
When’s it out?
5th November 2021.