The kinkiest fetishes, ranked by a sex worker

If you’ve doomscrolled Twitter over the last few weeks, you’ll most likely have caught wind of something that kick-started this month’s online sex discourse: a (sadly now-deleted) video of a faceless person vacuum-packed into a latex cube, their body pleasingly vibrating as the box is gently rotated.

Known as a latex vacuum cube or bed, this device is a fairly common feature of BDSM play – or, as Bristol-based dominatrix Countess Diamond describes it, ​“another day in the office for us over on the fun side of Twitter”. Dia says it’s fairly simple to use, too, even if it looks kind of terrifying. It’s basically a cube square that you climb into through a hole, like the neck of an oversized jumper. Then you whack out a hoover, suck all the air out and… voila! You’re vacuum packed!

This kind of image pops up fairly frequently if your timeline is on the friskier side. But the aforementioned video, as one sex worker tweeted, ​“scandalised” normie Twitter. Case in point: one user said they ​“cannot imagine being so terminally pornbrained that being fully immobilised in a vacuum-sealed sex cube is ​‘the mildest thing’ to you”.

Besides the fact the term ​“pornbrained” doesn’t even make sense in this context (BDSM existed long before internet porn), Dia argues the almighty vac cube, actually, isn’t that scandalous at all.

“We can understand a little bit of hanky panky with your arms in restraints, and the elements are the same here,” she says over Zoom. ​“The person wants to feel unable to go anywhere; that their sexuality and their mind is all under the control of someone else. It’s like taking handcuffs in the bedroom to a new level. Aesthetically, though, it looks much more severe because the person is faceless, nameless, identity-less, and using items that aren’t everyday.”

Besides, if the vac cube has you shaking in your, er, latex box, you’ll be shocked to discover that, in the grand scheme of BDSM, it actually is relatively mild. In researching this piece, I discovered a whole host of weird, wonderful, intense, and sometimes funny kinks, from quicksand sinking and gelding (look it up) to nose blowing and zit popping.

Essentially, Rule 34 (that if it exists, there’s porn of it) seems to apply to kinks, too. To settle the debate once and for all, Countess Diamond ranks the 10 hottest and oddest kinks and fetishes. Strap into your latex cube…

“Eyeball licking is to do with goo and bodily wetness. You’ll get a lot of people who are interested in forcing orifices open and widening them. You’re taking the eye, which is usually this beautiful window to the soul, and you’re doing something unusual to it. Seeing the red inside people’s eyes can be very attractive; it’s also very similar to a vagina because of the natural wetness and delicacy of it.

I don’t think there’s a safe way of putting anything in your eye, though. Do what you want, of course, but do it safely. So, yeah, don’t necessarily do this, especially if you have an eye infection.”

“Vore is to do with watching and experiencing a heightened natural act. It’s like [being into] enhanced breasts – it’s an enhanced eating experience. This can be about smells, sights, chewing… It’s very much focused on the lips, mouth, eating, swallowing, much more dialled into detail [than muckbang]. And it’s not all about prettiness, like beautiful lips or beautiful teeth.

I’ve also had people who like the smell of breath. There’s this dirty attraction; dirty breath, knickers, hair, unwashed bodies. You’re a sucker for a natural aroma.”

“A lot of people want you to kill them or to instigate a process whereby they die. Forced suicide is complex, but it’s very much a thing. And it’s heavy because you’re dealing with people’s intense emotions, so you have to be really careful what you say. [It’s all about talking. For example, telling someone], ​‘These are your final hours. When you take your final breath, I’ll force you to do it, you have no choice. You’re nothing. I’m the ultimate controller. I’m your God, your creator, your killer’.

I wouldn’t enact an execution kink because it’s a limit for me, but I’ve done clips where people are in execution chairs. Though not necessarily with the intent of wanting to be executed; it’s often torture roleplay. [I’ll also do] crucifixion, as long as it’s not with the intent of dying, but instead if sacrificing them is for the greater good, or because they’re unworthy or unwashed. [During the crucifixion, their wrists and ankles would be tied to a cross], though I’ve known of people who’ve been nailed onto it.

I don’t recommend anyone jumps into executrix. When you get into a room with someone and you get inside their head – particularly if you’re very good at your job – that could be dangerous. I’d say it should be reserved for those who are just playing in the bedroom, because you tend to know a partner more intimately and emotionally than in a client-domme relationship. It’s something that’s good for Bob and Jen to get up to, but for a Miss and a sub, I’d stick to the vacuum cube.”

“Castration is very popular with younger guys. For some people, a dick is a useless appendage; if you’re not baby-making, it’s just getting in the way, physically and mentally. They want you to grab them by the balls and take away this thing that’s distracting them. I have a lot of people come to me with a list of women who’ve chopped off their partner’s anatomy in a criminal sense, and said, ​‘I want to be her next victim’. But it usually starts with a control fetish, so [is linked to] chastity, too. It progresses from, ​‘I want you to take control of [my penis] and never let me have it’ to ​‘I want it to shrink away’, and then the next level is just, ​‘Cut off my penis’.”

“[Body inflation kinks can be enacted in several ways. It might involve] wearing an expandable rubber suit and being lost in this space of air, or some kind of tummy growth, whether that’s pregnancy related or via forced feeding. Big bellies are a very attractive part of someone because [it means] they’re well fed; they’re squishy and yummy. It’s just the same as finding someone who has a nice bum. We fetishise big hands, lips, eyes, everything. If you like it, you want to intensify that experience.

I’ve had a lot of clients who specifically want to see me not fit in my jeans, so they’ll take me out for dinner to eat loads and loads of food. Or I’ll wear a pair of jeans in a clip that are a couple of sizes too small, and it’s this struggle of doing them up.”

“Pedal pumping is another multifaceted kink. I’ve seen clips where there’s a foot on the pedal, revving and trying to get a car to start. Then you can get feet on pedals with a penis in between, and then there’s just feet on a penis. You’ll just see the pushing action of the pedals, or a repetitive squishing motion. There’s a lot within pedal pumping – barefoot, stilettos. There are painted toes, long toes, chubby feet, high arches, dry skin, soft feet. It’s linked to a foot fetish, but some revvors would say it’s all about the car. How far can she push the pedal down? What about the noise? Is it dirty? Is there gravel?”

“There’s this really cool thing that some people have called an Alice in Wonderland complex. It’s the expansion of a person or things, to make you or them really small. It’s the divide between you and me, like, ​‘I’m big and mighty, all-empowering and encompassing, like a God or Goddess, and you’re so small. Watch me do what I can to you, you tiny little man. With these big boobs looking at you, you’re so small and helpless and you’ll be smothered’. Again, [the sub has] lost control and they’re handing everything over to another person. What can they do to fight against it? They just have to lie there and enjoy it.”

“Encasement is a feeling of being restrained, unable to move, and kept. The overarching draw of this is control; you’re relinquishing everything. You don’t have the weight of making a decision; you’re just a mummified object. With fetishes like nylon encasement or the vacuum cube, it’s all very focused on the sensation – smell, sight, and feel – of the fabric. Then there’s predicament bonding, where you’re encasing someone in something they have the opportunity to escape from. It’s a predicament: do I try to get out of this but, [if I move], a lever is pulled that creates pain, or do I just stay still and enjoy being encased? It’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

[This is where the vacuum cube comes in too]. The thing about latex is that it’ll hold onto your body heat, so you can feel someone’s heat through it, but you can’t feel their skin. It’s the ultimate denial. So once someone is in the vac cube, they don’t know who’s touching them, how many people are touching them, or if they’re being watched. And they don’t know what’s coming next. It’s amazing. You have a tube to breathe, and you can hear people through it. You can also have signs and signals for if you want to get out. It’s on the person on the outside to make sure the person inside can communicate.”

“There’s a misconception about erotic electrostimulation that you just whack the [shock level] right up – but that would take away all elements of tease. You don’t want to hurt your submissive straight out; you want to test limits, push boundaries, and see how far they can make it. Logistics-wise, there’s two things you can do. You can attach electric cables to the genitals, one on the clit and the vaginal opening, or one on the scrotum and the penis head. You can also do nipple play, but it’s recommended that you don’t use any electric equipment above the navel. Also, you need to make sure that the person you’re playing with either has the permission of their doctor, or that they’ve played with this before and they don’t have a medical heart condition.”

“[With cock and ball torture, people are typically] seeking the escapism that the endorphin rush provides, rather than the pain itself. People might think it’s all about whacking as hard and as heavy as you can, but there’s also an element of threat. And that threat heightens your adrenaline. It’s a very submissive act to hand over your genitals to someone else; it’s the thrill of the unknown. You’re relinquishing control of your most precious asset. It’s taboo, it’s naughty. It hurts but it feels good. You don’t want it but you do.”